AND THE not so GOOD.
But mostly I believe it is good.
The other day, I wasn't doing very well and I told Emily that sometimes I think it is easier to be sick than to try to get well. It was in a weak moment after lots of poking and prodding and bruising, etc.
They are tearing me down in order to build me back up.
I shared with my mom-in-law a couple of weeks ago that I envision myself as a phoenix rising from the ashes. Silly, I know.
Yesterday was one of the best days I have had in a long, long time.
Since I have not been able to take the iron, it has been nice for me to not have to be sick for the days surrounding those infusions. (But if I could take it, I would - it was helping me!)
In the morning, I felt terrible and thought it might not be a very good day. It had been a rough night for me, along with what I have going on we had some not too happy people in this house before we all went to bed. And that bothered me all night while I tried to figure out how to help hurt feelings heal.
Needless to say, I was wiped out before the day really began. After the kids and Jonathan left for the day, I fell asleep. It may have been a couple of hours that I slept, I don't really know. But when I woke up, I felt better! There was an energy spurt welling up within me. It occurred to me that this energy spurt was significant and I should put it to good use. So, I got to work on a couple of windows (insides only) that have been bugging me and a couple of light fixtures. It made me so happy to feel that I had accomplished something! Something other that laundry...
Then I showered, laid down for a bit afterward and then went to see the doc.
The pathology did not come back in time for my appointment with my Hulk doctor; I suspected that would be the case. But that's okay because I see the GI doc on Monday and he will have results.
The iron infusions were helping my blood to build. That was good news.
We were very excited about that. I felt that it was helping, my head has been more 'clear'. My heart isn't pounding as hard as it was. Still dizzy and light headed along with several other things but it's getting better.
He was excited to let me know that my blood levels have come up out of the life-threatening range.
Thank heaven for that!
Now, he is trying to figure out how to get more iron in me without having the iron kill me...his words were, "I don't want to have you come out of a life threatening situation with your blood to kill you with iron."
We laughed a little at that but it is serious, darn.
Since I have gotten through the procedures and should hear back about pathology, he thought we would talk about blood transfusion.
Which he said may still be necessary. There is a lot to consider.
My body is still not able to absorb the iron from food and supplements and now that I have adversely reacted to the IV iron, he doesn't quite know what to do next and said he would do some research on the best way to get the iron into me (while keeping me alive).
He said while he researches other options for me, he will talk to the GI doc and see how long it will take to have villi return (so I can absorb nutrients again).
So, my job this week while he looks into all of this, is to keep building blood!
If it keeps building then I will build it on my own over the next months.
If it falls again, he will have me get a transfusion.
In the beginning, I was really hoping to build my own blood but after all that I have been through, I am not opposed to a transfusion. I know it would help me feel better sooner.
His findings in my blood go along with the early findings of the endoscopy, so they are pretty certain that it is Celiac Disease that is keeping me from being able to build blood.
Yet it is necessary to have the biopsy confirm - they say it is the only way to be certain. Apparently there are a lot of folks who should be tested for the disease. And there are many people who have self-diagnosed and believe that they suffer from the disease but might not and without a biopsy they can't know for sure.
As far as the blood volume goes, still not certain where, when or how it got so low in the first place. It is clear that I have been suffering from it for a long time. (I wish I could go back in time and fix this earlier, I believe it would have helped me cope better with some difficulties we faced a while back).
Anyway, we should have more answers on Monday or at least understand more.
After the appt. I got to watch Smash soar through the air. Love it!
Then I came home exhausted and out of it and feeling happy.